Mendel's Wife the Tailor - Stone, Tucson AZ

As you may know, my favorite activity to do as a bored, single, hormone addled man is to drive around town white-knuckling my steering wheel while aggressively chewing gum and keeping my eyes peeled for hidden gems in this desert town. Lucky me, a sign caught my eye and immediately my curiosity went into overdrive. Mendel’s Wife The Tailor. My neck almost snapped in two when I did a double take. I almost side swiped a fat family of four in a minivan trying to pull over to the side of Stone Avenue just so I could look it up. I mean, obviously it’s clothing related. But maybe not? The last time I heard of a guy named Mendel was in grade-school and it was some incel dude experimenting with pea plants because he couldn’t get lady attention. Was there some missing lore in my schooling experience where he got married to a chick that repairs clothes? Good for him? Also, shouldn’t there be a comma in there? Mendel’s Wife, comma, The Tailor? Isn’t there other things happening in the world and in my life that I should be focusing on instead of being a grammarnazi to a small business in Arizona? Not really.

To be absolutely sure this place wasn’t a strip club with a cheeky name, I went to google and found their website which states:

“For many years,  [Mendel’s Wife the Tailor], a division of Sparkle Cleaners, has been providing Southern Arizonans with exceptional clothing alterations and reliable clothing repairs. We believe that your clothes are a reflection of your personality, and that your appearance sets the tone for all of your interactions with other people”

A) I am relieved knowing that it is indeed, a tailor oriented business. B) I absolutely agree that clothes are a reflection of your personality and why I dress like a divorced dad says a lot about me and C) I am perurbed by Mendel’s controlling nature. I assume she’s the one with all the talent but he has trust and/or insecurity issues stemming from childhood and absolutely must have everyone know that she.first and foremost, is Mendel’s wife before she’s a tailor.

Anyway, most of the holes I have in my clothes are in my underwear and i’m too lazy to buy new pairs. I don’t want to makes Mendel’s Wife The Tailor Mendel’s Ex-Wife The Tailor when she smells my underoos and has a stroke. But I wanted to show my support and when I came in, I asked the nice lady at the front if Mendel was around because I had some questions. As it turns out, there he was not. Secondly I asked if she was his wife. As it turns out, she was not.

Either way, now I was forced to ask this female about my unconventional request. My jeans are far too tight and I’m walking around like David Bowie in Labryth. Basically I asked if they were able to sew on a rocket pocket for more breathing room and she essentially told me that if its fabric of any sort, they can work their magic. This was great news. Now my mind was reeling. Could I possibly get secret zipper installed in my old pair of JNCO jeans? Can I add an innappropriate amount of cowboy tassels to all of my tshirts? Could I have a backdoor bathroom flap modded onto my survival dad cargo shorts like those old timey pajamas? The answer was most likely YES.

Since neither Mendel nor his wife, the tailor, were actually in house, I’m hoping that they were just on vacation or something. I’m oddly worried about their marriage dynamic, but their store is magic and I’ll be bringing in all of my pantaloons VERY soon. Thanks Mendel’s Wife The Tailor. I appreciate you. Sincerely, Rico’s Clone The Writer. 5 stars.

This is the place to go for alts - levi hems to dressy. Skilled tailors you just don’t see anymore. Fast service too!

Signage says that this business is located inside Sparkle Cleaners. But it's actually 3 doors north, in a different building in a different parking lot. Easily walkable, but annoying.