Della Martin Center, Pasadena CA

Will cost your life and soul I had a head injury and was admitted and never treated for injury this evil place costed me my life

One physician. Makes you prepay. A few thousand. You don’t know If you’ve used up the deposit.
No receipt.
No continuity of care if in IOP but need to go back.
Discharges patients with prescriptions for drugs of abuse.
He’s in it for the money. Easy to talk to which is an illusion that he medically cares about his patients at all.

Abusive staff and a very unsafe feeling environment. You're here at your absolute bottom, yet if you dare to show ANY signs of being anything other than entirely happy and content you're threatened and ridiculed.
Nobody. I repeat: NOBODY, should ever come here, or any place like it.
~Massive tw: ptsd/depression/suicide. ~

Please keep in mind all of this was immediately after a friend talked me down from committing suicide, and I decided to admit myself; I didn't feel I could trust myself to not go through with it, and was still very unstable.

The first day I was screamed at and borderline attacked by another patient with literally nobody doing anything to help. They watched and smiled with apathetic amusement, as I looked toward them for help, like it was a regular occurrence that was losing its entertainment value. Like seeing a fight break out between apes at a zoo. I was inconsolable, due to some of the awful things that were screamed in my face - I asked for help from the moment she targeted me and they did nothing. They were completely detached from the idea that I was a human being; I cannot put into words how exceedingly awful it felt to be treated that way.

I was literally told verbatim to "dance, mokey" when asking for food, multiple times. I am not kidding. Not jovially - I was visibly uncomfortable, I wasn't laughing with them. I was still very much actively wanting to die at this point, which is something that would get much much worse as my stay progressed.

Three staff members/nurses/whatever they want to call themselves cornered me by huddling around me in a circle against a wall. They Called me a drug addict (specifically: "So, what do you use? Coke? Heroin? I see those bumps on your arms. " the bumps being eczema - information that was available in my records. Quote isn't exact, but close). I had never taken anything, or even dran, safe for trying weed once a couple weeks ago to try and help my insomnia. They pulled up all of my medical records, looking through them and commenting cynically at my various conditions and history, after verbatim calling me a "liar. " Upon seeing my records were completely in line with what I was saying, they proceeded to mock me via stoner caricatures before finally leaving me alone.

Later the same night (very late, when they assumed everyone was asleep - I didn't sleep my entire 5 days there), the only patient I felt safe enough to talk to couldn't remember if he took his medication or not, as one of the side effects of his medication was an amnestic effect, not dissimilar to what made Marilyn Monroe overdose. He simply wanted to know whether or not he took his medication, but was physically pushed back into his room without a word being spoken to him, being completely ignored; this happened three times. Hearing the neglect, I came out to try and do something, anything. The staff person that was "dealing" with him looked at me, gestured toward my friend who was scared and alone, and said "God, he's like a cockroach" with such hatred and venom it actually felt like a punch to the stomach.

There were many, many other things that happened, to me and others, many worse things: that was all just the first night - but I'm running out of space. On top of all this, I was constantly truculently threatened with an extension on my imprisonment any time I had expressed any emotion other than happiness, I think because they knew the prospect terrified me. I had to fake a smile any time staff were looking at me. That might have been the worst part: the pretending. I came in looking for help, opening up for the first time, and came out being actively diagnosed with real, actual PTSD.

I sincerely hope this place and all others like it burn to the ground. It is a broken, inhumane system where people in need are thrown away, imprisoned, and treated like animals. I am far worse off now than I was before admission, but know now to never seek help or talk about any of it. Thankfully I'm dying of multiple autoimmune diseases - there's nothing they can do, so it's only a matter of time now.