Omni Shoreham Hotel, Washington DC

Prepare for an angry review. I'm giving it 2 stars to be charitable.

This is a complete rip-off of a hotel. Conveniently for the Omni Shoreham it's in a neighborhood with no parking lots. So if you drive, you're screwed. You have no choice but to park your car with their valet parking, which is $50 a day! The website implies there are cheaper options, but there are zero. So either you get your car towed or pay $50 a day. When I arrived, I parked briefly outside to check in and check what my my parking options were. The head doorman asked for my keys like I was a shifty person trying to get away with something –– then barked at me saying that if I wasn't back in 15 minutes I'd get charged $50 a day. I mean seriously? What kind of hotel treats its guests that way? It was weird. Not even Motel 6 treats people like that, and this is supposed to be a "fancy" hotel.

So then I'm given my room and a map, with all sorts of lines and arrows and instructions drawn on it to help me find my room. And I needed it. It was down a long hallway, then down a staircase (I had a heavy bag and a backpack), then down two or three additional long, winding corridors to no where, and then downstairs again, this time in an elevator to the? 1st floor. I thought I'd been on the 1st floor but nope. Weirdly, when I got down to the 1st floor, all of the rooms were bizarrely numbered starting at 2000. So my room on the 1st floor was 210#. Totally confusing. It took almost 10 minutes to find my room.

Once in the room I tried to log on to the wifi because I had tons of work to do. But surprise – it costs $10.00 a day to get Internet!

The rooms themselves are not that special. They make you feel like you're in a cramped dollhouse designed in 1985.

Seriously, I am not staying here ever again.